Got a Cat? You're Going to Hell!

Before you read this, you may want to check out this link: Are Cats Appropriate Christian Pets?

This has to be the most hilarious RIDICULOUS supposed-to-be-serious article I've ever seen! Boy I am I gonna have fun with this one...

For one, they wanna talk "medical" i.e. cats have salmonella in thier poo.. ok I have heard of toxoplasmosis in the litter so pregnant women should not change the litter boxes.. Salmonella? Ok.. Christians shouldn't own turtles either. lol

2. What about Christian farmers? My cousin has sheep, and she says anthrax is a common thing found in soil where you raise sheep/cattle. So no cattle or sheep for these Christians either. Here is an excerpt taken directly from my copy of Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary Edition 19 (Published and copyrighted by F.A. Davis Company, Philadelphia 2001): "People who work with contaminated textiles or animal products usually contract [anthrax] from skin contact with animal hair, hides, or waste." You can also get it by eating contaminated meat (think about that the next time you buy that tender juicy mouth-watering slab of t-bone ROFL, I doubt I will. Double: ROFL).

3. And while we are on the subject of barn animals, chickens can carry lice and spread it to humans, not to mention fleas which can carry diseases (I know we have all heard of the plague). I also hope they have roach motels handy, because roach droppings can cause asthmatic attacks. Not to mention ring worm (which is a parasitic infection which itches really bad) if you walk barefoot where animals go, and it's not a 100% likelyhood you will get ringworm, but a sure possibility.
Cats and dogs however, cannot carry lice, because their fur is too thick for the little nasties to latch onto, and this came from a nurse I work with, an RN, who grew up on her family's farm.

4. Ok, back to the bubonic plague of years and years ago, the well-meaning misinformed Christians killed the cats (because of the whole black-magic satan cat thing), which would have ate the mice and rats, and perhaps at least slowed down plague infections. It would have helped too if those people would have bathed more often, hey my Native American ancestors made their own soap out of animal fat, or was that a tribalistic heathen barbarian thing to do, to get clean? "Ick.. nasty barbarians.. spreading their cleanliness all around with their soap.. ew.. "

5. Cats do kill for fun. Ok. Maybe they got me there on that one.. but some wild birds carry lice.. so they're just cutting back on the lice population ROFL. Besides, occaisionally a cat will bring you bits of dead things it kills as a gift. So perhaps they are the ultimate sacrificers. Christians are no strangers to animal sacrifice. It was common-place to kill the best livestock animal and leave it as an offering. This practice predated Christianity, as our pagan ancestors did the same, basically as a fertility thing. You give the best to God, and God will reward you with bountiful crops/livestock next season. The Celts had an interesting self-sacrifice ritual. A "King" was elected to be the sacrificial king, this king would don the antlers of a stag, and "become" the stag by doing this. He would go into the forest and fight a stag. This act, that some would call sheer stupidity, ensured that his people would be well-fed, healthy, and safe. It was actually quite an honor from what I understand, and anyone would have been considered lucky to have had that honor. Back to the cat-issues..

Cats just love you, and after we give them our love, attention, and buy the food they like, so they just want to say "Hey mom/dad I love you too! Have a bit of bird feet.. it was delicious, not to mention fun! I just want to share my joy with you too!" And people say cats are unaffectionate! BAH!

Cats are self-domesticated, they chose to live within the proximity of human settlements. The Egyptians prized them (and worshipped Goddesses to honor them: Bast and Sehkmet) not only for the mice and rat pest-patrols, but also because they killed poisonous snakes. People have been breeding them for centuries to create specific breeds, and some of these breeds are better to be trained than others, but it can be done. Cats are pretty smart really. I had an aunt whose cat figured out how to open a door by turning the knob to get outside. My cat is very empathic. She knows when I am sad or upset, and quickly comes to my aide snuggling up to me because she wants me to feel better.

Alas, some people have so much paranoia in their systems, they can't seem to find the joy in all of Gods' creatures. (I'm still having trouble with bees and wasps, but only when they get into my personal "proximity" LOL. Bees are quite interesting really, I just don't want them buzzing around ME! Bumblebees would also be quite cute because they are so fuzzy and round.. however.. that stinger.. ick)

I would like to quote this article, and comment in the following:

Godwin, a brother from Sierra Leone, puts it this way: 'I'm so grateful that God's organization is kept clean! It has freed me from the burden of owning a cat and all the spiritual pitfalls and financial commitments that go with it. I hope all the brothers will realize how the Devil subtly uses cats to corrupt and distract us from the disciple-making work.'

Ok.. Do these people not have children? Cleanliness? I can't count the number of times my son has spilled juice or wee'd on the carpet, made a 'confetti party' out of his Trix cereal, and his newest obsession: Drawing On The Walls (thank goodness for the "Magic Eraser"). Financial commitments? Ok.. we don't want to talk how much I spend in diapers, food, clothing etc, and then compare it to the price of a walmart bag of cat food or cat litter, it's a penny in the bottom of my purse compared to the amount a child costs. Cats are usually pretty clean, if you keep their space clean, keep the food bowl full, they're pretty happy. The article also says they "Lick themselves in inappropriate places" HA! Have YOU ever tried giving a cat a BATH? Personally, I'll just let my cat lick away!

One last thing, to use their own words and values: Have they not forgotten that their Satan cannot create life? Only their God has that priveledge?
*shrugs*

Anyhoo.. I guess some people just have too much time on their hands.. I don't know anybody like that though.. *Looks around all suspicious-like, raises index finger to mouth: "SHHHH!"*

Heh.. hope you enjoyed today's edition of the Ridiculous!

Berta! If you find this edition offensive, then you're missing the point.. CATS ARE NICE LITTLE FUZZY CREATURES! So pthhbt! :-P