Public Toilets! What kind of crap is this?

Public restrooms, what can possibly be ridiculous about them?
Well, aside from the normal "For a good time call.." messages on the sides of the stalls, there are some humorous things I have noticed about them, or rather some of the folks that use them. For one, have you ever noticed someone trying to act like they aren't pooing? You enter the stall, and you notice feet a few stalls down from you. They are very quiet, usually, until you leave, or on the other hand they do a "courtesy flush" as they are dropping their bomb. You may or may not hear it over the noise of the flushing, as if they are trying to hide the "plop and splash" noise. You know that this is what is going on because instead of exiting they continue to sit in their stall, and you hear no noise of clothes being pulled up. Why do I notice this? I guess because you don't usually have something else to do while you are doing your business.
My personal problem with public toilets is the inability to pee when there are others present, and at work, God forbid someone start talking to me. Shy-bladder syndrome probably effects thousands of people, but it is rather annoying especially if you have somewhere you need to be. Normally if nobody is present I try to hurry up the process. This to me is ridiculous! I feel like telling the person at the sink to just leave the water on so I can wee.
I guess on the other hand, at least I am not plagued with the woes of stress incontinence, yet!

The other thing that gets me about public toilets, are those auto-matic flushers with movement sensors. It seems as though they flush at all the wrong times, not when they are supposed to. They flush when you sit down, and when you are done you wave your hands frantically in front of the sensor, praying it will flush, even if all you did was wee.
Finally, what is the thing with those disposable paper machet seat covers? As if they would protect you from something! Sheesh..
The bottom line is: don't drink a lot before you leave the house, always have some of that no-water hand wash gel in your purse, and pray you don't have to poo in the middle of shopping.

--Berta "Tinkle Tinkle Little Star" McBloggersson